If I had said yes to Smash Hits all those years ago, would I be sat in a mansion with millions right now?

Ah the bittersweet joy of the those deadly two words...

"What If?"

It isn't often a film shifts my whole way of thinking but Butterfly Effect did just that. It grabbed my stomach and twisted it and suddenly I was filled with regret. Did I take all the wrong paths in life? Or am I in the place I am today because I made the right choices? Is this as good as it's going to get?

I was offered a Work Experience placement at Smash Hits when I was 15. I didn't take it, mainly because I had no clue how I would go down there and live for a week. Looking back though, that week could have changed my whole life. On the other hand I may have made tea for 5 days and come home disillusioned with the whole idea of being a music journalist. The not knowing is enough to drive me crazy.

I'm a musician who works in part time admin so I can afford my rent, food etc. I still live in the same small town I was born in and have never properly left. Did I subconciously sabotage my own chances of getting out of here? Am I delving into some deeper subjects here and starting a therapy session with myself?!

If you had the power to change your past, would you?

Butterfly Effect brought me to the conclusion that I wouldn't. Things could end up far far worse than they are now but I cannot help but drift off sometimes and think "What If....?"